How to be self-confident even if you feel like a potato 

Since the past few years, I’ve noticed a lot of female around me depreciate themselves. It’s common for me to hear my female friends or family members « I can’t wear that, I’m too … » or «  I hate my … » or « I look terrible today ». 

I’m honestly tired of it and my wish is to have more and more women feeling confident on this planet.

The definition of self-confident according to Collins is someone that « behaves confidently because they feel sure of their abilities or value. » Nowadays, it can seems really hard to be self-confident because of all the pressure you can feel from the society (social medias, tv-shows, magazines, you name it!).

Actually, there is many reasons why people find it difficult to be confident. 

If you are self-confident, often people may think you’re arrogant. 

(In our society, it’s seems better to talk negatively about yourself then positively. Imagine today, talking to your friend « I feel so beautiful today». What do you think your friend will think ? LOL

(Good news, it’s probably not your friend!).)

It feels so easier to depreciate ourselves than celebrate our beauty, strengths and accomplishments.

We also make jokes on ourselves. Well, I’m not against it (it still is my guilty pleasure actually but I am working on it) but it’s really not helping you because you are still talking shit about you and maybe you believe it’s true. 

But hey Gina, I can find millions of reasons why you need to be confident and love yourself!

You can work on it

Like everything, you can work on it! 

It’s a work of everyday, an habit that you are going to introduce in your life that will change you for the best!

There is an example of my favorite speaker Tony Robbins. 

Imagine having a baby. When your baby is learning how to walk she/he is falling a lot before succeeding, right ? Are you going to say « she/he’s not a walker! » Of course not! You are going to help her/him until she/he succeed.

5 steps to getting started  

Talk good about yourself 

Go in front of your mirror and see what you like about yourself. Maybe you have gorgeous lips or shinny hair or beautiful hips. Be aware of your strengths. Always talk good to yourself because your deserve it and you have probably been too hard to yourself. 

You are beautiful ! Say it everyday, Feel it, Embrace it!

Affirmations

Affirm to yourself every morning and every night : 

  • I love myself

  • I am smart

  • I am passionate

  • I am beautiful 

  • I am worthy

This will help you to kind of reprogram your brain. At first, it will feel like a lie. But do it daily and just NEVER STOP IT. Period.

Wear your favorite outfit

Put effort on what your wear, put your favorite dress for example.

You know that feeling when you are wearing this dress you love, it puts you in a mood and in an energy for a good day, you feel confident about you and you are ready to kick some asses and you just can’t stop…

Smiling

Like your favorite dress that you are wearing, your smile is just the best accessory that you can wear! Smile because you are alive today, because you have food, because you are breathing. There is so many why you can be smiling and grateful !

Like Buddha said : « Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful. »

Working out 

Who doesn’t feel proud of herself after a workout ? NO ONE! 

When you are working out, you release hormones (endorphines) that make us happy. It can be anything : yoga, fitness, pilate, running. You’ll feel good, proud of yourself and your health and body will thank you.

3 things to avoid 

Comparing yourself 

This is a really bad habits that you need to stop doing right now! It feels ordinary to compare ourselves with social media nowadays. You can often see women with filters or using Photoshop, or they had plastic surgery. 

Follow me here, everyone can do whatever they want with their pictures, I mean who don’t use a filter on Instagram ? You just need to be aware that it’s probably not reflecting the reality and comparing yourself is just a waste of energy.

Criticizing other females  

Here another bad habit that you need to get rid of. When your criticizing, you are feeling jealousy, anger, resentment, and all this energy is just going back to you!

If you find someone having something that you want? Feel happy for them and work for having it. 

“Having resentment against someone is like drinking poison and thinking it will kill your enemy.”

Mandela

Talking shit about yourself 

We are so used to talk shit about ourselves that we don’t even realize the amount of bad talking that we are doing. Give yourself a break and be kind. Start listening to yourself and hear what you are saying … probably some shit!

How I started become confident

I became confident when I start taking dancing classes of dance. First, I was really shy, dancing in front of every one was totally out of my comfort zone. But after months of hard work, I was more self-confident, proud of who I was and all the progress that I had made.

I’m 24 now, I take care of myself I work out 5 times a week because I know how proud I’ll be and how good I feel in my skin when I do it, I go shopping knowing what to buy because I know what suits me the best (BIG TIME). I still have my flaws, like every one else, I’m human but I don’t let this emotions lead you somewhere else than your goal!

I’m confident because I told myself every day that I am. If I can be confident, I promise that you can be confident too!

I hope sincerely the same for you and that all my advices will help you to be confident. Do it one step at a time, be kind to yourself and I promise it will work. This isn’t about being perfect all the time and right away. 

You need to love yourself because if you think about it, you live with your body and mind for the rest of your life, don’t you think it’ll be more pleasant to be kind and loving to yourself ?

If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?

Rupaul

See you on the next article!